Balancing acts in life

If someone enters your life and remains complacent for too long, then it’s time to review, what it’s all about.

There are so many roles we all play in our lives, the position of responsibilities. At times, we have to juggle so many things that are happening all at once, it can get very inundated and tiring. Too much thinking can cause so much stresses and difficulties. Perceptions differ and so much is expected of oneself, when one attempts to do everything to please everyone else.So, with that in mind, where is there time to have relationships of quality?

In my situation, where so many failed relationships may reflect hugely on my inability to play all my roles; having been divorced and separated from my children, an ordeal I live with every day. It’s hard trying to juggle an extended relationship outside the scope of my children’s lives. Having tried to rebuild a life with a partner, because as a woman I do have various needs for companionship, I found it extremely difficult playing my role as a mother and then as a wife in another household. Having to go back and forth from my children’s home and then to my husband’s home, was a very taxing lifestyle. As I have limited and supervised access to my children, this being the case, I have had various attempts at trying to re-marry , with failing every attempt, only because a husband does have his role and it is impossible to ask anyone to understand and accept my role as mother to children who are not allowed to come to my home.

This is a hindrance for me having any hope of ever discovering a soul mate, it would have to be an angel who would encourage and support, let alone understand, my complicated life style, at this point in my life. Therefore, to have anyone permanent in my life as a husband would be a miracle.

I have had to review a future with another before I can commit with all life’s complications and intricacies, I know what I would like and that perfection of family will not be attained, when there is no understanding and support. I found I allowed myself to dream about such happiness when in reality, there can be none for as long as I do not sacrifice the time needed to build a relationship. It takes it’s toll. I also found, that I open myself to pain and suffering with either situation having a need of some sacrifice. Most of the time this seems so unfair. I have been given case scenarios of how I can best lead a life of a woman under stressed and less than ideal circumstances, which if that person had the last ingredient I needed in his personality, I would have that achievement of perfection. Unfortunately, this is not to be so.

I need care and attention, every human does, it is a natural vital part of life, to share with another that one loves. Love, too easy a word to speak of, and difficult for most to carry out. What it means to love unconditionally, means giving of yourself, supplying the sustenance in relationships, without judging and demanding.

Humans are demanding and we need to learn that vitality of life which moulds us to become better souls journeying on this earth.

With all the pain and suffering we each endure , at different levels, may we be grateful that we will learn wisdom; with the hurt, may we learn fortitude, with the tears, may we be given patience.

~Love , peace & light~

Lorraine Nur