In life and death.

Tonight, I sit contemplating once again on life! Life with all the opportunities it presents.Life with all the sudden surprises and with all life also, finally having to end.

At the end of the day, we really don't have any knowledge about that unavoidable event called death.Everything else about life is truly based on personal choices. Nothing is forced. We all have the freedom of choice! Except in the case of death. In my choice of faith, which is comfortable for me to digest, this life is a one time affair. When it's time to go, we cannot negotiate.I am aware of making the best of my journey through, and to make the best of what I have NOW and that self improvement is a necessity for calm and peace of mind.I prefer not to have to re-live it all over and over again. Once is quite enough and to do my best for the sake of Allah Ta'ala is my aim. As my focus is to return in a state that my Creator is happy with.
I have a very dear friend whom I call Angel Hearer. He is fragile and delicate in his inner being yet strong physically and mentally. His soul is one of the sweetest I have ever come across in my life.Through a soul connection we have become almost as close as spouses can be.I feel him as he hears me, though we do not see or hear each other physically.He is real, not a figment of my imagination, still an invisible man reality. He hears and answers or does things that I pray for in the silence of my privacy.Therefore, he is my angel hearer. Through a rich spiritual and soul bond, we should like to make this a reality and never have to part, except by death. The reality of getting closer on a physical level is happening in stages, enjoying the connection and suffering the separation.Neither wanting to hurt but each hurting in a delightful pining. We know one day it will happen, we just don't know when and neither can we plan it. As it happens, Angel hearer seeks counsel from elders of the family for a positive acceptance of my presence by showing my photo and "introducing" me as future spouse candidate. One of the few he consulted , was a close uncle. I was introduced over the phone to a unique sounding man, whom I found warm and cordial.According to Angel hearer, this uncle did approve of me so much, he offered his spare , extraordinary house over the water for us to stay when I did come, which he hoped would be soon and that he would get to meet me. I was overwhelmed by his welcome and warm character. His dignified tone and pleasant sounding voice. I felt bonded. A week later, today, I hear he has passed on. I shall never get to meet uncle but I feel he knows I shall miss him. The night he died, I had a strange dream, in which I saw someone in pain, a crowd rustling around the person, in a dark setting with dim lights. Not long after, I hear a loud voice asking My Lord forgive us, forgive me. Soon after, I see a rider on a huge white steed coming, and then two riders, in a mountain scene, the same white horse , it's rider and another smaller brown horse and it's rider. They seemed like old friends reunited, they rode casually and calmly, muttering dialogue. The sun's gleam over the heads, light, and not long after, a gathering of people welcoming them with salutations to the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, his family and companions.) I woke up suddenly from this clear dream vision at three in the morning, jotted the prayer of forgiveness. Later that morning, I received an sms to inform me of uncle's passing. I felt a mixed feeling, for I remembered the dream,which I felt was a vision of his passing, and that he was accompanied on his way home, by a profound soul. The dream impacted a huge rush of emotion, and I cried some melancholy tears. I may not ever meet, greet and kiss his hands in reality, and I feel I will miss him, but I also feel a great sense of closeness to this uncle who gave me his moral support and approval, which meant so much to me.
Another event, that the life presented was an inconvenient situation, which was created by a person with bad intentions.A very good friend and soul sister, helped me to help a friend, to give opportunity to improve life and to get away from a life of oppression. Five days after my sister decided she wanted to help, the anticipated reaction happened from a third party, and my sister under stress, had to check into hospital for treatment of stress. I felt so awful, yet and she was not at all upset with me, infact seeing her with her oxygen tubing made me cry! This sweet angel really took a risk to help and she did it sincerely, knowing full well she may have to deal with inconvenience. Her stoic principles on the rights of humans is what made her who she is today, one of the most caring and loving souls in my life.She is still determined to exhaust her resources to help another in need. This is incredible unconditional love for humankind. The character of a true Queen of Justice.
When I allow likeminded people to enter my life, they have been gems and pots of gold for me, cheering each other on, planning better futures, making no mistakes nor demanding. The friendship blossoms into more, and love is felt all around. There is happiness and smiles, sharing laughter and life, as free souls on this Earthly journey.
May we all be constantly blessed, and have a wonderful ending like uncle.
~LorraineNur~