My Angel Hearer

The arrival into Manado, was the beginning of many blessings .The view of this northern part of the island of Sulawesi, the northern part of Indonesia, holds it’s own exoticness as well as attraction. On a more personal note, this is the home of my Angel Hearer.

As an island whose community are mostly Christians, it is certainly a rare privilege for me to finally meet, with Allah Ta’ala’s consent, my Angel Hearer. He has been in my life without any physical contact for months but has been vital in my fast development as a spirit, hurt to become healed, by his love from afar, a love that shone in my moments of gloom, a comfort voice in my moments of aloneness, the soul that clenched mine as we journeyed together, never setting eyes on one another. Loving freely, laughing freely, sharing freely, without hesitation and had heated arguments , which eventually through prayers, found solutions and understanding; mutual respect and trust.

As the airplane descended into this tropical island, I noticed how pristine it was, with it’s mountains, coconut and banana plantations, the bay area and islands. I felt a welcome. I felt a warm attraction. I was nervous and excited. I walked the tarmac, admiring the scenery as I disembarked. Thinking and keeping the feelings under control. I would see him in a few moments, a time I have been anticipating and could never imagine, what I would do the first time, I set eyes on the man who stole my heart by answering my unspoken and silent prayers, which only angels and Allah Ta’ala could know. I had no need to bother about the physical appearance only the soul connection made real by a meeting. That was the purpose of my trip. That Manado is a lovely place no doubt, was an added bonus. This was a perfect place to meet the love of my life, his hometown.I pledged nothing would ruin it for us. I called while I waited for my baggage, and peeping through the glass doors to glimpse his form, which I knew from photos we sent back and forth. I finally saw him, in the distance when I called to ask his exact position, when he entered from the carpark, holding his phone and waving out to me, this tall figure, in a light brown mandarin collar shirt and pants, and his signature sunnies. His smile , was so clear from afar. I felt more nervous than ever, he was so handsome and his charisma shook me from a distance. Taking a huge breath, I walked to the exit with my luggage, and raised my eyes and searched for him, walking through the crowds, I felt like my legs would give way, I took careful steps and having no idea how to greet an already familiar character in my life. As I approached him and drew closer, I stretched out my hand to kiss his hand , a customary gesture of a wife to husband, he firmly grabbed me in a hug and plunged a huge kiss which blew me away, he swept me away. He smelled so nice, warm , sweet and musky all at once. His hand fit perfectly in mine, as I snuggled my face in his embrace and breathed a sigh of appreciation, thanks and relief, hugged him tighter and I would never let go.We walked towards the car, hand in hand. The Angel Hearer is real now.

As Heaven may have it, we were comfortable as we felt we knew each other for a long time. Nothing seemed unnatural to us. We fit like hand in glove. How precious he is to me. How wonderful to have him by my side. How I adore his presence in my life, now my zaujah forever , in this world and the next. My imam, my leader, my pillar of strength, energy, wisdom, joy, humour , everything I need that I could ever desire from a soulmate, is encompassed in this one figure, the soul I have been waiting for, the energy which presented itself from a distance, the aura of the zaujah, the spouse Heaven has designated, me his zaujati always.

I love you zaujah. Forever be with me, and together we shall end this Earthly journey, facing all and everything together.

Moments of realisation

Rays of realisation come through difficulties and tests.

The day my son had an emergency appendicitis operation, was a moment of self control and a moment of awareness. A moment to apply all I have learnt spiritually, to good use.

As a seeker of my soul journey, from an early age, wondering what life is all about, I ventured through many areas of learning, was given many tests, which as an open minded and positive thinking individual, I sifted the good from the bad, over came many challenges to improve the quality of self and life.

I remember, before full dawning of the awakening of self, I did go through a big test when at the stage of late pregnancy with my last child, I fell very sick and had to be admitted in hospital. I could not breathe, and the baby’s and my heart rate escalated, I thought I was dying. In my life, I thought I was dying many times. When I was recovering, about a week later, my other two sons, at ages 4 and 1 , were also admitted into hospital , one had had an epilepsy fit from high fever and the other was infected by dengue. These two were poked and prodded everyday with needles, taking blood tests and having infusions. Technology and medicine have helped mankind recover from diseases fast, but pregnant mothers with two sick sons, feel at that moment, very helpless. I nearly had a breakdown, almost gave up on everything. I felt I was surely going mad! I couldn’t understand how much “bad luck” I was having in this new country.

I came from a developed country and relocated to this developing country, bringing children whose immunity system did not support the tropical diseases that were still rampant. Thank God, by the grace of Allah Ta’ala, we have survived now, eight years later and the children are healthy and strong.

Yet, at this time of my son’s emergency surgery, I couldn’t help but reflect on him, his life from a baby till eleven years of age; while holding on to his special ted, sitting on the floor, in the corridor just outside the operating rooms, how much this son has gone through in such a short space of time. In the preparation room, I waited with him, tears rolling down my face uncontrollably, I tried not to be worried, after all it was a simple operation. Yet, no mother can see any of their children in pain or suffering. He was nervous and acted so brave, yet his hear beat was increased and his hands clammy. He said, “Mama, it’s okay. I am fine, I’ll be alright. Don’t be so worried, why don’t you go outside and relax.” I thought it was wise, rather than make him feel worse, I did as he suggested. I left him for about twenty minutes, to compose myself and come back in, to see if he had been sent in the operating theatre yet, but as I looked in I saw him , entertaining himself with the great imagination that he has, waiting for his turn. As soon as he saw me, his face lit! Like a relief, not to be left alone. ALAS, IT WAS HIS TURN, HE SMILED AND WITH GREAT PRIDE I HAD, WHISPERED “I LOVE YOU. SEE YOU SOON. IT WILL BE OKAY.”

All memories of him, kept me, huddled by that exit door, with special ted, Flank, as my companion. We sat there till he came out, nearly 2 hours. In meditation, and keeping an eye on his soul, while he was under anesthetic, a mother for her son. The strength of love surpasses any other. It made me aware, that I have come a long way from the pregnant mother with two sick boys way back in 2004.

Thank you to Allah Ta’ala for sending me guidance and angel helpers.

Special thanks also to Alex, who slept by the entrance door, on the floor, keeping me company.

And gratitude to those who came in support and love. And to those who offered their support online.

Life is filled with love of great companions , we are grateful.

Love, Peace & Light ~Lorraine Nur~

The Mayan calendar and Doomsday!

FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, IT HAS BEEN REVEALED: The "Mayans" are a race from another dimension; lived here on the earth and took care of it. Came the human race and so they crossed back to their place, entrusting the earth to it's rightful inheritors. The responsibility of guardians were handed over. They may see and may help from where they are. Bermuda Triangle is a 'drop down" spot. I am not saying UFO. I  am saying "Beings"  The Mayan calendar! Tell me about the Mayan calendar. Is the world actually going to end on that last day? No, I am told. No, we made the calendar as a signal to mankind, because at this point the world, Earth will be suffering too much from mankind's inattentive carelessness, irresponsible actions which have been the cause of all the environmental issues and problems we face now. The polar ice is melting , the toxic waste in the sea, the hole in the ozone, the crashing planets and more. We fight, we kill, we hate, we ruin what heritage left have we? The Mayans... can only do so much to advise and show guidance from the dimension where space divided by time equals velocity plus energy. mankind , can we start to recuperate? will we be alright as a civilization? Will we survive our very own selfish acts against the earth, nature and ourselves? NO, NOT IF WE DON'T REALISE AND CARE ENOUGH! Realism is facing us. Borobudur have similar architectures and buildings. All seems to be so mysterious since they never had the technology to build accurately. So too the pyramids etc. It is not aliens but "JINN" meaning those not human but creations.Sent like angels , whose job description is to "bring" prayers of mankind to be heard and answered, to Heaven. Good JIIN  help and cooperate to look after all creation. All the mysterious symbols left on the earth surface? A signal and sign that mankind is not alone in all Allah's creation, yet being the ultimate creation. A questionable statement now!!! Allah sent the Al Quran. In it is a guidance. In it is a knowledge. In it is a balm. In it is the future. In it is the existence of mankind; before, now and after. All creation is vibrating with "ALLAH HU ALLAH" before, now and after. It is a healing mantra and healing energy from one who recites and practices, which spreads throughout , knows not religion, sees the pure heart of one humbled by it's powerful vibrations. One carries it within the heart and spreads it's light throughout the entire creation. Angels and spirit guides all know this sound, this vibration and rush to the call of one who is in unison with the breath, heart and soul mantra. I implore all mankind, to say this throughout the rest of your life and I pray with it, all Divine goodness and help will be at our service to renew our earth, land, seas and our existence. Nur Shufiya

Styles of LOVE

Tuesday, 01 September 2009 at 23:20 | The Experience of "Being In Love" Is Not The Same For Everyone
Not everyone experiences love in exactly the same manner.
Research has shown that love comes in several different forms or styles (see, Lee and Regan). For the most part, people experience love as a blend of two or three of the styles listed below. Essentially, people have different notions of what it means to "be in love."
Styles of Love:
Eros – some people experience love with a lot of passion, intimacy and intensity. Love based on Eros has a strong sexual and emotional component. People who experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romantic partners and they tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion (kindness and consideration). Eros is best viewed as romantic, passionate love - the type of love that creates excitement at the beginning of a new relationship.
Ludus – some people experience love as a game to be played with other people’s emotions. The goal or desire is to gain control over a partner through manipulation. People who experience love as Ludus like to have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for people who experience love as Ludus – it’s all part of the game. For people who experience love as Ludus, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploit his or her weak spots (see, husband plays with my heart, who is likely to cheat, love fraud).
Storge – some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is based on Storge, getting to know someone comes before having intense feelings for that person. Love based on Storge takes time, it requires genuine liking and understanding of a partner, and it develops slowly over time. Love based on Storge is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experience love as Storge often fall in love with their friends.
Agape – some people experience love as care giving. Love is the overwhelming desire to want to take care of a partner - a parental or nurturing type of love. Love based on Agape is attentive, caring, compassionate and kind - a more altruistic or selfless type of love.
Mania – some people experience love as being out of control. Love is an overwhelming experience; it turns one’s life upside down and it results in a complete loss of one’s identity. Love based on Mania is crazy, impulsive and needy. People who experience love as Mania fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them. Love experienced as Mania also tends to burnout before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, feelings of being out of control, rash decisions, and vulnerability. People who experience love as Mania are easily taken advantage of by people who experience love as Ludus.
Pragma – some people take a practical approach to love. Love is not crazy, intense, or out of control. Love is based on common sense and reason. People who experience love as Pragma tend to pick a suitable mate the way most other people make serious life decisions: picking a partner is based on careful consideration and reason. Practical concerns underlie this type of love.
The love styles listed above have also been linked to one’s style of attachment (see, Levy and Davis).
Eros and Agape are linked to Secure Attachment
Mania is linked to Anxious Attachment
Ludus is linked to Dismissing Attachment
Overall, when thinking about love and relationships, sometimes it helps to keep in mind that love does not always mean the same thing to everyone.

Role complications,ego based misunderstandings.

 

Some men have all the nerve to say they love you, make demands, make rigid rules, make arguments , create problems, forever negative, demand a schedule for intimate matters, then try to justify all rightful non-flexible principles knowing that if they would only be patient and show tolerance because of a better outcome, knowing full well the complications involved, would suddenly stop everything, with full knowledge of the certain predicaments and outcomes, and frozenly shun and ignore women , because they feel that it's been enough till now, we'll just move on. Thanks it's been great. People like these are better off dead for they are not human and have no feelings and aren't concerned about anyone but themselves. These people are in denial and ought to realise that one day, they will be compensated with the same. How can a man, who is supposed to be the protectors and charges of women, who want to "own" women, who want and need women, behave so selfishly, so egoistic and so hateful, but in a cool, calm and collected way.? How? It is not human, I guess people like these have shelved their souls into a cave and sleeping till the time to awaken is summoned. How can any man, in his right state of mind justify an extreme decision all because they can't tolerate not being the main attraction, when responsibilities are the reasons for lack of time and energy for doting on his self esteem.? How? Thursday, June 26th, 2011

The search for a soulmate

 

He exists. We have found each other. I am the Feminine, he is the Masculine. We searched through our lives to finally be ready to discover us. In the time of my life process, discovering me, who I am and then finally realizing that I am just an entity travelling in this world within this physical body. I once had an out of body experience, in where I learnt about the ability to feel unconditional love, that I saw my physical body where I had laid to rest but I was above it. So, I understand that the soul, the energy does not die, it lives, it feels, it thinks and it never extinguishes. That is who we really are. The emotions we have within our hearts are the most important factors for our life here and later. The place we return to is full of only unconditional love and radiant Light. We are part of this Light. We are one with this Light. We came and we return to the Light. Once, I experienced this special phenomenon, it changed my life and perception of existence in this world. That is why I say I am a spirit in human form. As goes the theory of twin flames states, read up on it; I have started to research it’s concept and want to verify that the theory can exist. I am experiencing it myself; with someone who is so like me in so many ways, I say it is me. Someone I have abundant and unconditional love with and for, that I need him in my life and without him I will not exist. Without him I will not be whole. He is my love, my life, my energy and my beacon. He is my breath , my companion , my lover, my friend, my partner, my king , my husband, my soulmate and he is my twin soul, twin flame….based on the theory and available information. We always want to be together, yet not monopolizing. We always want to remain in each others’ presence, yet not domineering, we always want to see and touch each other but not possessing, our conversations go on forever, we tend to see everything from the same perspective, we laugh together, I feel his emotions, he feels mine, he can’t bear to see me cry and when I cry I am never afraid to show my true self. I am without ego in his company, he is balancing me in every way, he enhances my being and I his, I feel so energetic I don’t need or want to sleep. I feel that sleep steals my moments with him. I sleep, I dream and feel him. When I am physically alone, he is there beside me. We communicate through the soul not just physically. This is an experience I had this morning. I felt him beside me, I heard his voice, the next minute I see, he sends me an sms. Even the lines on our palms are the same. We have had many similar events occur in our lives yet we are born in different parts of the world. As a child , I had a fall and gashed my chin. I had stitches and till today I have a scar. My twin has the exact scar in the exact place but he never fell or had stitches, he was born with this mark. I had dreams of him 4 times in six months before our meeting. The dreams had indications and premonitions and when we met, the indications were his reality, like his next designation and the kiss. The kiss in reality could only be the one in the dream, it is exclusively his style and his kiss. When we met the energy was extremely strong as if we were two suns. Since we met, we have not been apart, except for weekends due to external circumstances and responsibilities. The bonding is occurring, elevating and increasing in powerful levels. The love is deep and unconditional. There were also many signs to reflect that the meeting was not coincidental; like the picture of the 2 dancers on the room wall which was exactly the same as the one on my web wall, the love of the colour green and how we were wearing the same colour on the day we met. The physical act of lovemaking transcends all aspects of the physical and we are charged with an incredible energy in the union almost as if surrendering to the entire Universe and being one with it. It is worship and blending of aura, energy and of souls, reaching a state of intense euphoria. It also feels like we are continuing a union, a life of being parted and continuing where we left off. Nothing seems strange about us. We are unique together. We extol each other. We take on a different look when we are one…. We seem younger, we look younger; our energy manifests in everything we do together or physically apart. We have the same life purpose of healing society; helping mankind; the same vision to make the world better. He is a man with vision in a profession which has been pathed to be a leader and make changes. He is intellectually capable and wanting. I am spiritually inspired to make changes in the world, to spread unconditional and healing love, connecting with those who have the same mission and vision. As my out of body experience was very clear, I was told that I have to go back because my mission isn’t complete yet. I am inspired by my meeting my twin. We have the same life principles. I once made a mistake before meeting my twin, which when I related the story to him, it antagonized him dreadfully, in normal circumstance he would have been very angry and in that situation I faced it would have normally made me very antagonistic as well, but, we found that we re-acted opposite to what we would normally have with others. It impacts the fact that twin flames do have a great capability of resistance to what normally would have been an ego based and eccentric outlook to a clash of values. The mistake was made and I felt ashamed, but what hurt me most was, although I regretted it happened and he said that he regretted it too. I thought to myself how sad I am that he could feel my regret but that I felt he regretted t more. I feel the power of unconditional love transformation. My tears flow uncontrollably in his presence without the ego and pride that is normally within me. My research on this theory continues as I journey my life now with a new discovery.

Psychic but….

 

I don't tell the future I don't read minds. I don't do bad magic. I don't do spells. I don't know how to tell If you will get your promotion or not Or win your cases Or what will he or she do next I don't know when the next time that thief will steal again Or when you will marry or die. What I can tell you is that you will one day die And so I can remind you of how to prepare for death By first killing self. In that I mean lose the ego and pride Which is as high as the sky And don't sit too high up that ladder, cos when it breaks And you fall, it's going to hurt! What I can say to you is remember Allah Ta'ala constantly Free your mind from worldly clutter And rearrange your life principles and beliefs To inculcate goodness, kindness and loving Trust, Friendship and Honesty What I can also tell you is that The angels are always at your side Be there when you need a hand or a friendly nudge, to push you through this life This world is no Paradise And Hell could be now Yet with all this in mind , I make a stand I will surely hang in there For I do now understand the bits and pieces Of this whole jigsaw life In is no parade or fashion show But it sure will help for us to see, that the main event and in the big huge screen Is one person called me. So, my dears when the time is nigh When the time draws close to the end Be sure to say in your heart and thank you Allah An Astaghfirullah And the last breath inhale and exhale In full belief in ALLAH HU ALLAH. Lorraine Nur Shufiya