Introspection of self- Muhasabah

As a muslimah, learning through life's events; I am aware that all I experience, good and not so good, is for my benefit as a spirit in human form, a soul journey back to the Master. Understanding what it means to be "sami'na wa a'thana"; follow and obey, by learning the hard way. When I went through trials and ignored the Holy Guidance, I felt emancipated but unsatisfied, knowing that I could do better and be better.That choice was mine to make and the energy to rebuild had to come from myself. My sincere endeavours have made me stronger and feeling more complete as well as contented. I have discovered that true love lies within every person.Contentment comes from being open in commitment, consistent in actions, honest in speech and acts, projecting a positive attitude,refraining from complaining too much, accepting what are disappointments and learning from failures. Coming back to real Islam, meant forfeiting family,friends,possessions but what Allah takes, He can easily replace. Alhamdullilah, my life is complete with devotions,increased knowledge, new love,life and challenges. The end part of this journey must try to be without mistakes and faults. Imam Al-Hadad says that if a person on attaining the age of 40,finds they have done less good than evil, that they should prepare themselves for Jahannam,and vice versa. Quoted from his book The Lives of Man. That the last part of our life, after 40, should be the preparation for the next life in Barzakh. Looking back, I feel a need to focus on accumulating as much as I possibly can for that end, age is past 40 and Allah knows best each person's life span.In youth, with vitality and energy, one should focus on using that time for devotions as in mature age, we cannot be rest assured that we will have the available strength or energy to make proper devotions nor have enough time to do so. It is a wrong concept to wait till we have finished our preoccupation with dunya to start thinking of the akhirat. Ibadah/devotions balance our lives and fortifies our vitality to live better lives fisabillilah. Lessons we gain should not be lost by making wrong life decisions which will have a negative impact on self and future generations. Allah Most Gracious has given constant reminders of what happens to an individual in circumstances where they choose others beside Allah, there is no benefit nor goodness. Iman must be kept secure, and this security is obtained when we inculcate Islamic teachings in our lives; not compromising any issues; not for anyone or anything. When we comply to Islamic values and standards, we shall have a firm grip on iman, living the deen as our holy prophet Muhammad salallahu alaih wa alih wa salam showed us. Nothing less will be acceptable for the true muslim. As Imam Ali, may Allah be pleases with him said,"There is no muslim who will ever be your enemy nor any hypocrite, your friend." I believe in these words and I use it to uphold myself in times of dissapointment, when I face negative forces from those in my surroundings. I also feel saddened because I see how when iman is not nurtured, it will crumble and disintegrate. Iman becomes compromised and finally Allah closes the ears, eyes and hearts to accept more knowledge/hidayah. Or as Allah says in Al Qur'an, they are left to indulge as they please without direction. You will be gathered with those same as yourselves. Soul families exist while having been born in different Earth families. Ties among parents and children are never disconnected on all levels. Relationships among extension families can be compromised based on lack of sincerity and iman. What was could well be a test or short journey together. Whatever the case, true muslim families following proper Islamic teachings and holding on to pure Islamic values, will bond forever. How can a servant of Allah serve the dunya by becoming obsessed with possessions when clearly our beloved prophet Muhammad salallahu alaih wa alih wa salam said not to hoard wealth. That this age is the age of the last ummat, meaning the age that will witness Al-Massih Al-Dajjal, the fitnah zaman. The age that will witness the Qiyamaah. I have been made aware that this existence is short, no time nor space, the reality will come from significant and clear efforts to live the true Islamic life, keeping sholat and patience, reading supplications and increasing faith, knowledge; and leading a life of peace, love and light. Anything less would be inferior. May we all be blessed and motivated by the struggles of the early muslims, for without their battles and fortitude, mankind would not have the choice of Islam today. May Allah raise our levels and keep us in the company of those He loves.